A Little Reprieve from the Flow of Bad News from Our Kenyan President:
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| Cry "Foul!" all you will about Rep. Paul Ryan and his budgets which are imperfect. Unlike the White House, he at least has proposed one every year over which to be debated and altered in House Budget Committee meetings. |
In light of the current series of crises which not only plague America and the world, ladies and gentlemen, but which emanates primarily from the White House in the Oval Office or wherever the president is golfing or fundraising everyday - which are where he is most of the time, causing a reason for me question how in the hell he finds time to serve as the Dark Lord of the Apocalypse - I want to provide for you a little bit of a breather for some good old fashioned humor as only the world of politics can adequately provide.
The Incredible, Edible Stupidity of Barack Obama and Joe Biden:
I first want to briefly poke fun at our president, who apparently is tirelessly playing the role of jet setter during the week while fundraising to serve Americans by not worrying us about his growing laundry list of crises he manages to manifest while on vacation behind his Oval Office desk, and how recently, he apparently proclaimed he is growing rather taxed mentally and physically from so much exerted energy doing whatever the hell it is he finds to destroy when he is not smoking his ganga:
And what about Obama's favorite Motown soul singer, Aretha Franklin? Well, I shudder how one of pop music's greatest and most celebrated divas would react upon watching and listening to the president play the part of Dan Quayle, both of whom were, and are, beyond ignorant as sin:
When it comes to being a jackass, you cannot possibly preclude mentioning Barack Obama. In fact, not only is he the most socialist Democrat in the party's and U.S. history - and I dare state, too, how he is considerably further to the Left than FDR, Truman and LBJ - he also looks and even smiles as if he wants to audition to become the platform's mascot of the same species:
I don't believe we can call Obama a centaur since he is not one-part horse's ass. Since he is a Democrat, he has to be a jackass.
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I think, however, we cannot dare express the true definition behind political dunce without exemplifying the poster child whose photograph - or at least a silhouette or a stenciled portrait with a cheap pack of old Prang crayons as the art tool on his white wall - is immediate adjacent to the political science vocabulary in the textbook's glossary. That of course, has to be Joe Biden, whose gaffes are so numerous and beyond a comprehension of the traditional word of embarrassing that I felt it best to simply use a YouTube video where he is singing Aretha Franklin's - and there we go again with the Queen of Soul's name be soil in the mentioning of such evil people even if she is a liberal - Chain of Fools:
And in closing this waste of at least a third to one-half page of the nation's two biggest socialists' filthy images, at least they were comical. And for Biden, well, there simply is no hope for curing him of what eating paint chips as a kid caused in brain damage:
And last, but not least:
Apparently, Biden not only wants you to know that he does nothing and therefore is only harmful if he picks his nose, but he also is measuring something which, evidently, he feels compelled to perhaps engage in a dramatic hyperbole in address the need to compensate for his own variation of LBJ's friend to the ladies, Jimbo, which I suppose for Biden is my concocted literary term of hyperbolic-oxymoron... emphasis of course on the "moron" part of the last word.
Ronald Reagan's Funniest Quips Poking Fun at the Democratic Party:
Oh my, what to say about The Gipper? Ronald Reagan consistently ranks among the top five presidents in our history, with some even placing him atop the list with Washington and Lincoln over three other giants in FDR and Teddy Roosevelt, plus JFK. And perhaps his eloquence, his quick wit and humor at playfully poking fun at his political adversaries are what most endeared him so deeply within the Beltway establishment as an outsider. Most grew fond of him even in their virulent opposition to his policies geared towards changing how "business as usual" was to be conducted in Washington. And so it is imperative that I include President Reagan, forever to be the seminal president and world leader alongside British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, Reagan's close friend, confidante and political soul mate as they not only changed their respective nations which were on the brink of statewide economic and moral collapse, but the world as it had been mired for more than 40 years of the threat of a nuclear holocaust:
Now, I don't believe Reagan ever hated a single person he encountered; what he said in his diary entry following his being shot about John Hinckley was indeed, priceless, in that he penned a prayer asking God to see to it that Hinckley, mentally ill, would find his way in life and known peace. But for purposes of political capital and when such White House press journalists as Sam Donaldson, himself growing over time quite fond of Reagan despite his "cruel policies", Reagan, in as genteel of manner as only he so masterfully could, simply provided Mr. Donaldson with a very blunt, yet embarrassingly-humorous reply to a smart ass question about the recession sometime in one of Reagan's first two years in office:
Two of his other legendary zingers were during two separate presidential debates in both 1980 and 1984. The first will be presented before you in a rather irritated reply to the incumbent Jimmy Carter, who pulled the same old trick the Democrats do so well by shaming the GOP candidate and his or her supporters into caving on the socialized health care plan, which for Carter was to be universal. In classic Reagan style, a very terse but point retort has now become iconic:
The irony of the following clip is that if Reagan retired, Walter Mondale as president would insist upon funding what the Democrat would happily consider as the highlight of his twilight:
Do any of you seem to catch the vibe the Democrats tend to be like Heckel and Jeckel echoing each other like the annoying magpies they are? I don't know. I just breathe and I have a brain fart. I suppose you could say that I struggle with the opposite problem to the graphic below:
My fellow readers, you will be briefed on the greatest existential threat of pandemic proportions the world has ever known, and how President Obama intends to "fix it" just as he does everything else - with a yellow sickle and hammer.
Conclusion: Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) Versus the Cast and Crew of True Blood:
This is now the talk of Washington in terms of entertainment. As you may have read at some point if I ever mentioned, I have not attended a theatrical viewing of any film from Hollywood in more than four years, and I purposefully am doing so as a conscientious objector. For me, to pay what I have been told today is upwards of $16 for one IMAX-3D viewing at night over at the Regal Pinnacle Stadium 18 at Turkey Creek near the very economically-affluent community of Farragut - named for Knoxville native and Union naval hero Adm. David Farragut - is beyond absurd, especially as those of us whose families reside on Main Street in America's Heartland continue to grow poorer as jobs are lost, wages and hours are slashed to avoid footing the bill for the Obamacare employer mandate laws while inflation now is reported to officially be increasing over the past two months after five years of speculation that it would eventually due to the president's monetarizing our currency flow in the marketplace through quantitative easing, or essentially printing worthless Monopoly money and randomly placing it out into circulation and thus artificially devalues the currency. All this, of course, is transpiring while Hollywood, music entertainers and professional athletes continue to grow wealthier at rising record rates disproportionately as the bottom 99-percent grows poorer. It is as what Rep. Joe Garcia (D-FL) stated in a webcam recording: America has now become a communist state. He did not sugarcoat what for the first was not a lie I listened to out of his mouth by stating socialism because this could imply either communism or democratic socialism. He said specifically communism, or Marxism:
Why did Joseph McCarthy have to die nearly 60 years ago following his communist witch hunt trials? The true irony is that his district - (D-FL 26th District), comprising most of western Miami-Dade County, as well as the Florida Keys - is located in the region of Florida known as "Little Havana", and in the case of the Keys, just 90 miles from the communist regime of Cuba, where most of the Hispanic community risked their lives to escape Castro's begotten hell and totalitarian rule.
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The video by Rep. Garcia, though funny in a very twisted manner, is only humorous because it merely confirms what conservatives have known for 82 years about the Democratic Party as the clandestine party for communism which infiltrated our system and likely led to JFK's assassination over the botched Bay of Pigs invasion by the CIA; some say this is to be a fundamental truth since Lee Harvey Oswald was a communist and resided in Moscow, marrying a Soviet citizen named Marina. But to segue to a true American rising star whom I believe could be the next Reagan doctrinal archetype for the conservative establishment in America is Texas Republican Senator Ted Cruz, a bright, relatively young former law professor at the University of Texas School of Law at Austin. Since he is a Longhorn and eager to see what new head coach Charlie Strong has in store in returning the legendary program to the top of college football's landscape, I will only provide a "Hook 'Em Horns!" out of respect for his former employer since a good friend of mine is an Oklahoma native now residing here in Knoxville and attended both my high school and the University of Tennessee with me. Mike, my buddy, hates Texas, and was in a near state of mourning over Mack Brown's choice to retire after he finished with a record of 7-9 versus their Red River rival Oklahoma Sooner, particularly as he was dominated and multiple times destroyed by "Big Game Bob" Stoops following his appointment as the Sooners' head coach in 1999.
In a rather bizarre irony of having disclosed the information about Rep. Garcia, I will let you in on a little secret: Ted Cruz was born from Cuban immigrants. He knows well from what his father Rafael Bienvenido Cruz taught him how evil communism is as an institution which uses anarchcal-capitalism, ironically, to inflict its bloodshed and state totalitarianism. And as Sen. Cruz was indirectly a part of a recent episode of True Blood on HBO where vampires killed scores of attendees in what is known forever as the "Republicunt" show where this transpired at a campaign rally, he took it all in stride and found enormous humor in the entire affair:
Clever, those Hollywood commies! After all, Rep. Garcia stated that they are, in fact, all communists within the Democratic Party. But fear not! Sen. Cruz has a word or two to say regarding the little ploy:
I never knew the man to be such a saucy comedian extraordinaire! He can literally line him up into a career once he leaves politics a standup comic! As his father is an evangelist, he would never dare say this publicly, but I would say that by using the term "Republicunt", maybe they are inferring that GOP members having a rather easy time getting the ladies! But as Cruz is a far classy man than myself, I digress. The subsequent Facebook update, having watched the actual video once I read it, is among the most hilarious social media posts I have ever read, and I do mean ever:
And to conclude finally, this is why the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) is funding preparations for the zombie apocalypse:
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